Top 5 Most Unplayable M14 Cards (Limited)

Every year, Magic gives us a new core set. And every year, we spend a bunch of time trying to determine the best cards in that set, in a variety of colors, in a variety of circumstances. But where's the love for the miserable? Where are the accolades for the cards that are just utterly terrible? When will the worst cards get their due discussion?

Right now.

It's now time for my list of the five cards you would steer away from in any draft, the cards you would most hate to see in your sealed pool. Here they are, the five most unplayable M14 cards in limited Magic:

5. Burning Earth

I put Burning Earth at 5, even though it should probably be more like 3, because it's got a definite use in Standard. So while you would never, ever play the card in a draft, it's not the worst thing to see, since it'll net you a ticket and a half in bot trades. But as far as actually playing? No, no sir. There are only three nonbasic lands in the set, so it's unlikely that you get any sort of play out of the card. Your biggest hope is that your opponent is trying to run a three-color monstrosity and he's got two or three Shimmering Grottos that you could burn him for. So, Burning Earth is a potentially sideboard-able card for the most rare of circumstances, but by and large, you'll want to play something else.

4. Encroaching Wastes

Encroaching Wastes is one of those three nonbasic lands I mentioned above, but it's not one you'll expect to play against. Again, you're hoping to spike a Shimmering Grotto, but at what value? You're sacrificing your unplayable land plus spending four mana to destroy his somewhat playable land? Against a deck that's got Mutavaults (plural), I'd consider sideboarding in Encroaching Wastes, but really, so unlikely. Pass.

3. Shadowborn Apostle

In a constructed deck, maybe, maybe this guy has some value? Say, I wonder what the rules are in Commander, if his rules text overrides the limit of one-per-card? Probably not, that'd be kind of unfair. Anyways, in limited, no chance you get six of them, so it's a vanilla 1/1 for 1. If it was a sliver that'd be one thing, but a human cleric just won't get it done. I do like the flavor of the card, and its interaction with Shadowborn Demon, but as far as playing it? No sir.

2. Artificer's Hex

Now we're getting into the really miserable limited cards from the set. Artificer's Hex is funny, because it actually feels really good. Not like, functionally, but the flavor is perfect for black. And it works pretty well in Commander, where equipment like Lightning Greaves gets used in almost every deck. You turn those Greaves into a curse, and you're back in the saddle. However, in M14 limited play, it's bad bad bad. There are only three equipment in the set, all at uncommon or above, and none of which is necessarily gamebreaker material. The Hex should go bottom 3 in every pack that holds it, probably above the basic land...probably.

1. Darksteel Forge

Here we are, the #1 unplayable M14 card for limited. Let me be clear: I don't think this is the worst card in the set. There will be some constructed decks that find a way to get good use out of Darksteel Forge. Indestructibility is a useful effect, and there are a thousand different ways to ramp your mana to get to nine. But in limited, get serious. While M14 matches tend to go a little longer than M13 ones did, nine mana is still asking way too much out of a single card. Furthermore, exactly which artifact are you so hung up on that you want it to be indestructible? Millstone? Fireshrieker? Really, there's just not enough power in the artifacts of M14 to even consider playing a nine-drop to protect them. Finally, it's a mythic rare, so it blows your chance at a boss mythic like a planeswalker or Archangel of Thune. Just bad feelings all around.

Honorable Mentions
- Merfolk Spy
- Dismiss Into Dream
- Pyromancer's Gauntlet

Top 5 "Whoa Nelly" Moments from Terraria - Number One

This is part of a series of five articles about the great surprises from my first foray into Terraria. Check out the other recent posts for the rest of the list.

#1 - The Blood Moon

So here we are, the #1 most insane moment from my early forays into Terraria in a multiplayer setting. I remember the first time it happened, I was deep into the third cave level, not knowing when the sun was rising or setting, and I got a message: "The Blood Moon is rising." That was followed by a confused "wait what?" from one of my companions on Skype. Curious, I returned to the surface, where I could see the moon.

What I found was carnage and chaos.

The Blood Moon basically means that nowhere is safe. Zombies and Demon Eyes can force their way through your doors and into your house to pummel your characters and murder your townsfolk. The enemies also spawn in greater number and with greater frequency. But the last, most devious change is that those sweet little five HP bunnies turn into murderous Corrupt Bunnies, who have greater health and damage than the zombies themselves. Watching a purple rabbit maul your friends while you try to fend off the zombies that have invaded your home is a mortifying experience...and part of what makes Terraria just so F-ing great.

Top 5 "Whoa Nelly" Moments from Terraria - Number Two

This is part of a series of five articles about the great surprises from my first foray into Terraria. Check out the other recent posts for the rest of the list.

#2 - Eater of Worlds

Ahh, the Eater of Worlds. The best thing about the Eater of Worlds is that when he shows up, it's your fault. The Eater is spawned when you smash enough of the dark crystal balls in the Corruption, which is only possible after you've crafted a fairly high level hammer. When you smash a crystal, you get a cryptic message, something like, "A horrible chill runs down your spine..." The first time one of our group did so, there were four or five of us in the server, and upon that text appearing at the bottom of the screen, one of our players immediately disconnected. It turned out he wasn't up for whatever was coming.

After two more orbs were smashed, the rest of us realized that we were also not ready for what was coming.

Seeing that massive worm barreling through the cavern, was an eye-opening experience for me during the game, and pretty much the exact moment when I realized it was time to upgrade my armor and find some more life crystals. Eventually, after upgrading your gear and getting the hang of the Eater's mechanics, the fight becomes fairly easy, and a good way to generate a bunch of money. But I won't forget that first time, when I got chewed up and spit out...or not spit out, rather, but definitely chewed up.

Top 5 "Whoa Nelly" Moments from Terraria - Number Three

This is part of a series of five articles about the great surprises from my first foray into Terraria. Check out the other recent posts for the rest of the list.

#3 - Sky Islands

I'm sure that a lot of people found out about sky islands from the internet, but I'm delighted to say that my group of friends came across our first sky island by chance. We had been having a pain of a time traversing the countryside getting from one side of the map to the other, so we decided to build what we called a sky bridge, an elevated line of stone blocks across the map. With some jumping around, a friend came across the vines hanging from one of the islands. I honestly thought he was joking about the island when he started talking about it, but it turned out he was telling the truth...and he reaped the rewards. When he showed the rest of us a few dozen pieces of nice ore, a cloud in a bottle, and some other assorted loot, we were all on the hunt for other islands.

Though the harpies that patrol the sky islands were a bit of a nuisance, the "Whoa Nelly" wasn't so much from being panicked or threatened. It was more of a, "Whoa Nelly, what a cool thing they did in this game with these sky islands."

That's not so much the case with #2. Tune in tomorrow to read all about it.

Top 5 "Whoa Nelly" Moments from Terraria - Number Four

This is part of a series of five articles about the great surprises from my first foray into Terraria. Check out the other recent posts for the rest of the list.

#4 - The Dungeon (and those asshole skull ghost things)

I knew the dungeon existed fairly early in my Terraria-playing days, well before I actually delved into it. The trailer for the game showed part of the boss battle against Skeletron, the "gatekeeper" of the dungeon, so I had some sense of the situation when my friends and I finally found the dungeon entrance in our travels. But I didn't have any idea exactly what sort of dangers lurked in the dungeon.

We started to go into it, and then these flying skull things started zipping around. So we do a little dodging and weaving, pop a couple shots at the skulls, and then one of us takes a hit and just gets obliterated. We try to regroup, but there's no way around it; these flying skulls were just massacring us. After about a dozen deaths, we finally realized there was something up with the situation, and did our research to find that we needed to defeat Skeletron to eliminate those bastards, but for a few minutes we had a hilariously panicked time.

Top 5 "Whoa Nelly" Moments from Terraria - Number Five

I'm a huge fan of Terraria. If you check out my Steam profile, you can see that I've spent over three hundred hours mining, constructing, exploring, and slaying. It's often described as a 2D Minecraft (by myself as well), which is accurate enough, but the implication is that Terraria is a dumbed down version of Minecraft, and that's not fair. Terraria has a much stronger combat system, a more robust suite of enemies, better graphics, and a killer soundtrack.

Terraria has also offered some multiplayer moments that rival even the most heated battles in Left 4 Dead or Payday in terms of intensity. The game really captures the idea of the wilderness being this treacherous, unknown area, where danger lurks at every turn. Here are the top five "Whoa Nelly" moments from my first time playing through Terraria.

(For those of you unaware, the phrase "Whoa Nelly" has a special place in my heart since Earthworm Jim.)

#5 - Jungle Shrine

The first time I came across one of these, I was mystified. What on earth are gold bricks doing down here? And...ooh, treasure. When it comes to Terraria, there are two things I really go crazy for: high-end blocks and treasure. Finding both of them was a delightful surprise in the dangerous depths of the jungle.

Of my five "Whoa Nelly" moments, the jungle shrine was the least scary, which also makes it the least fun to talk about. It was a nice surprise, but didn't hold a candle to the other four. Which is my way of saying, stay tuned.

The Things I'm Going to Miss About Drafting M13 - Number One

This is the conclusion of a continuing series highlighting what I'll miss most about drafting M13. Check out recent blog posts to view the rest of the list.

#1 - The Roaring Primodox Engine

One of my favorite things in an M13 draft was getting a Primodox early and then going bonkers with "enter the battlefield" cards. When it didn't work out it left you with a hodgepodge of green, white, and black cards, but when it did, oh mama, that engine could hum.

The thing that was so fun about Roaring Primodox is that its effect is, in a vacuum, a negative. Having to re-cast creatures is generally not something you want to do with your mana. But when you find the cards whose "enter the battlefield" effects were valuable, you were turning a negative into a positive. By employing the right complementary cards, you could draw extra cards, spawn new tokens, pump your creatures and more, all from sensible use of this one beautiful card.

We're losing not only the Primodox, but most of the cards that made the engine work:

 

 

 

I'm sure there'll be other engines that present themselves as we begin to play the drafts; there appear to be a number of lifegain-based cards in this set that might work well together. But I will miss the magic that me and the Primodox used to make.

Thus ends this series of posts regarding M13. See you next week, bros.

The Things I'm Going to Miss About Drafting M13 - Number Two

This is part of a continuing series highlighting what I'll miss most about drafting M13. Check out recent blog posts to view the rest of the list.

 #2 - Omniscience

I've never played a deck with Omniscence. Not in a draft, not in Standard, not in Commander, not even in a casual game with friends. But Omniscience is representative of one of my absolute favorite things about Magic.

When M13 came out, Omniscience was basically a nothing card. It was a big effect that people mostly ignored because of its prohibitive mana cost. It's not alone in that category; there are cards in every set that look great, but get pushed aside because they're too difficult to cast. But then one day, Travis Woo took a recommendation from a reader (a guy named Derek Adams) and worked it into a complex and exciting deck that was able to take advantage of it. He's well-known for brewing up interesting decks, and the deck he put together with Omniscience was a hit.

Like, a BIG hit. So big, in fact, that the regular buying price for Omniscience went from a few cents to several dollars.

And that's the beauty of Magic. Each card has its value, its niche, its role to play. Some cards seem unimpressive or useless, but all it takes is some clever guy to figure out where that role is, and the whole community responds. Travis Woo was able to affect the ENTIRE MAGIC ECONOMY by simply identifying an untapped opportunity and spreading the word about it. That's what makes Magic beautiful.

Well, that and Unsummon.

The Things I'm Going to Miss About Drafting M13 - Number Three

This is part of a continuing series highlighting what I'll miss most about drafting M13. Check out recent blog posts to view the rest of the list.

#3 - Unsummon

 

I love Unsummon. If I could declare one card as being almost completely under-valued by the Magic community, it would be Unsummon. I've picked it first in drafts more often than I probably should, just because it's so amazingly versatile.

• Big token incoming? Unsummon is a kill spell.
• Big honkin' Primordial Hydra about to smash you? Unsummon and all those nasty +1/+1 counters slip into the ether.
• War Falcon attacking with a white ring and Mark of the Vampire? Unsummon kills the enchantment and massively undermines your opponent's tempo.
• Need that Murder back from your graveyard? Unsummon Archaeomancer and treat yourself.
• Opponent casting Rancor? Unsummon the target and Rancor goes into the graveyard for good.

When you have Unsummon in your hand, you have an out for almost any turn of events. Replacing its role in M14 will be its big brother Disperse, which allows you to return any permanent to its owner's hand for 1U. It's a broader effect and I'm sure it'll be a useful card, but at one mana, Unsummon is just the king. It will be missed.

The Things I'm Going to Miss About Drafting M13 - Number Four

This is part of a continuing series highlighting what I'll miss most about drafting M13. Check out recent blog posts to view the rest of the list.

#4 - The Ring Cycle

One of the aspects that really highlighted the balance of the colors was the cycle of rings they brought in. Each ring offered a very on-color effect to any equipped creature, as well as the bonus of +1/+1 counters to creatures that were in the prescribed color. The flavor made sense, the effects were balanced and had value, and the costs seemed appropriate. Any card that satisfies those criteria is a good card, and when you can say it about an entire cycle, well, someone at Wizards of the Coast deserves a hearty pat on the back.

On another note, I want to mention that I will NOT have the cycle of creatures with off-color bonuses in my list of things I'm going to miss (Harbor Bandit, Arctic Aven, Prized Elephant, Flinthoof Boar, and Crimson Muckwader). It's not that they weren't powerful cards; they were...but they sometimes struck me as an odd combination of both too powerful and too situational.

The activated effects were reasonable and well costed, but getting +1/+1 on top of that made each of the cards extremely powerful if you were playing the right colors. But in drafts, it seemed like most of the time you had to just get lucky in order to take advantage of them. As long as you just happened to be playing blue and white, Arctic Aven was a veritable bomb. In green/red decks, Flinthoof Boar was a house. I'm not saying I wasn't happy to take advantage of a giant Harbor Bandit to smash an opponent. Those cards just didn't make the set for me.

You're welcome to disagree; that's what the comments section is for.

The Things I'm Going to Miss About Drafting M13 - Number Five

M13 was a great draft set. The colors were balanced, the reprints fit great and the new cards were creative and flavorful. Now Slivers are back, and I'm sure M14 will have its own delightful draft flavor. But before we move on, let's take a moment to look back at M13, and offer a fond farewell to the cards that made it such a sweet, sweet set.

#5 - Staff of Nin

 

Talk about just a useful card. While Staff of Nin has a prohibitively expensive mana cost, it integrates two very useful effects into one card. Card draw, especially late game when you often don't have a hand at all, is of supreme value. On top of that, being able to ping your opponent, or one of the many 1-toughness valuable creatures in the set, is a fantastic addition.

Losing this card wouldn't be so bad, though, if there were better replacements for it in the set. Ring of Three Wishes is going to be a great card for tutoring, but it's a mythic rare, which means at least half of us won't ever see the card. Then, for the pinging, we get Rod of Ruin, one of the lowest rated cards in all of Gatherer. If you could use it more than once on a turn, that'd be one thing, but it's just one damage for three mana, once every turn. I get that there have to be unimpressive cards in each set, but did Wizards have to go back to something so wildly bad?

Tune in later this week for the rest of my top five list.

James' Top 5 Fun Blue Cards

Blue is the color most people that consider themselves "good" magic players choose as their favorite color. So basically it's the opposite of my favorite color. JKs bros. It's totally my fav. These are def in my top 10 cards played from the M13 era. For kicks each card will be accompanied by the worst card from the history of magic with the same mana cost and Power/Toughness. Boobs!

5. Fog Bank

 

This card is the start to any deck that annoys people. Which makes it awesome. The most I ever had in one deck was three. Needless to say, it was awesome. How many more awesomes can I type in this awesome paragraph?

Fog Bank's WCWTSMCASPAT

(Worst Card With The Same Mana Cost and Same Power And Toughness)

Lolz Rare.

4. Mind Sculpt

So glad this card was in M13. It made the dream of the mill alive. Even though drafting a "normal" deck was probably better... we're all here to have fun right? Milling someone out for the win is like 2.34 times more fun than by damage. Needless to say I tried to accomplish this countless times, with it working a very countable number of times.

Mind Sculpt's WCWTSMCASPAT

Stupid art to boot.

3. Unsummon

Pure miser card. Pure fun. Pure value. I heart this one deep.

Unsummon's WCWTSMCASPAT

Shame this card has AWESOME art. Because this instant has less than no use. I guess bring it in against those Bladetusk Boar decks so your Goblin Arsonist can chump? YEESH.

2. Redirect

This is a spell I like to savor. When their kill spell hits the stack, I wait. I look at Redirect, look at my 2 islands untapped and smile to myself. This will be awesome. BOOOOOOM. And this has the bonus of being a narrow enough card no one expects, so you'll sometimes get the "OMG you PLAY that card?" comments from the opponent. Those comments are my Ecstasy. Don't make those comments, people. You're just making guys like me smile.

Redirect's WCWTSMCASPAT

Thank god they added that non-wall clause. TOOO MANY WALLSSSSS!!!!!!!!!! 

1. Archaeomancer

This was not close. Imagine for a second if the card read, "When Arch enters the battlefield, draw target awesome card," because that's basically what she does. I don't like many things, but the things I do like I like doing twice (sometimes in the same day if I'm home alone). What a beauty of a card. Here's praying for the reprint in M14!

Archaeomancer's WCWTSMCASPAT

Wow, a 4 mana 1/2 for green that gives my elves forestwalk? And I have to pay for that too? Sign me up!

Well what have we learned today? I'm an asshole-card-loving asshole. 

Later Brooooos. Take a shot.

GP James

Firery Fun with M13's Red Cards

I chose to do the Green and Red articles because somehow, I usually end up drafting GR in m13. I mean a lot. So I have a little bit of knowledge about these two colors. ONce again these are my top five FUN cards to play with. Some of these are sweet cards, but others are just silly fun.

1. Thundermaw Hellkite

OK. We start, again, with a very powerful (mythic) rare card. But anyone lucky enough to have one of these in your deck, and actually cast it, can attest to the joy that ensues. A 5/5 Flyer for 5 already sounds awesome. Then add in Haste and the very relevant ability to tap/kill your opponents flyers, GG. Just play this card and watch as your opponent's well laid out board dissolves to mush. Then feed that mush to your opponent with a spoon...Here comes the train! Open up the station CHOO CHOO!


2. Mindclaw Shaman

This may be my fvorite red card of all. Most people consider it a sideboard card against decks with lots of sorceries/instants, but I can't help myself. Let me give you an example. Obvi we are playing GR and we are on the play. Turn one Arbor Elf means this guy gets played on turn 4...before our opponet can cast his Talrand's Invocation. Uhh. Yeah. Sick turn bro. Your opponent thinks he is about to play one of the best value cards in the set, when out of no where you steal it from him and cast it yourself. Your opponent will cry...or flip the table...or both. BTW, this is what James did to me in our first Live M13 draft. Clearly I lost.


3. Arms Dealer

Arms Dealer is fun on so many levels. First off, just look at that picture. He is so cute! I just want to give him a hug. Also, goblins are inherently fun cards and after you pick Arms dealer, all you really want are a ton of goblins. As far as power level goes, obvi he is sweet, however having only one toughness does present a problem against most decks.


4. Bladetusk Boar

I find base red decks to be pretty rare when drafting M13. And with so few artifact creatures, Bladetusk Boar does good work in most matches. Hitting for 3 every turn is not the worst way you can spend 4 mana. It mkes for a decent blocker if needed as well. But all of that is not the fun part, whats really fun is comboing the boar with ...


5. Volcanic Strength

This may be over doing it a little bit, as well as exposing yourself to the drreaded 2 for 1, But a 5 power unblockable guy to all decks except for the Non-Red with artifact creatures is pretty fun. I admit, I don't run this in most decks, but once you know you are playing against red its an auto include for me. The 2 power is great but getting the extra 2 toughness is what does it for me. It puts most cards out of range of the cheap removal.

Honorable Mentions

Krenko, Mob Boss and Firewing Phoenix were two cards I was considering. Krenko is the absolute nuts. Amazingly hard to beat in limited without have removal already in your hand waiting. But I only wanted to have one rare card and I chose the Dragon.

Firewing phoenix seems sick, but the decks I draft almost always have red as a secondary color, and can't reliably be able to bring back the phoenix from the graveyard.

So what do you think of my list? Please be nice, I have a fragile ego.

James' Top 5 Funnest Black M13 Cards (with bonus flavor fails)

A list of my top 5 most fun black cards from M13 would have been enough, right? That would have been sufficient, web Brofficer Joe? But I don't roll that way. That's tooooo easy. My list is the top 5 most fun cards that, just for the lolz....ALSO include a flavor fail.

5. Tormented Soul

This card is like a first date. So much potential. If you play your...cards right, you might a feel...for what winning a game of Magic is like. But it takes work: a Mark of the Vampire, some exalted dudes, etc. This card is a metaphor for our lives...guys that look like us need help, and this card does too.

James' Flavor Fail Bonus!!!

Why do souls have clothes? If he can't be blocked because he's a spirit, why can he hurt you? I stay up at night a lot thinking about that. Well, I did once.

4. Public Execution

 

 This card has everything I want in a card. Functionality, flavor, awesome art, and a hot gir...well, no hot girl here, but I'm over it. Six mana is tough, but killing a creature is worth six mana, amiright???

James' Flavor Fail Bonus!!!

The -2/-0 until EOT is perfect. The people watching the Execution lose their will to attack. BUT WHY IN THE ART ARE THEY SO PUMPED UP?!?!?!?!?!? They look like Mel Gibson just told them to fight for their freedom. Like Gordon Bombay just told them to quack. Looking at just the picture, +2/+0 is more appropriate, which is enough to make me sadface a little.

3. Xathrid Gorgon

I didn't fully respect this card until someone played it against me. Gee. Gee. Me. Losing. Cry. Drink. Laugh. Drink. Drink. But seriously, this card is pure fun, and powerful in draft. Sweet art to boot. And it has a hot girl, which is always a plus for me.

James' Flavor Fail Bonus!!!

Petrification counters. I get it. She looks at you and you turn to stone. Becomes an artifact. Perfect. But you can still block when you're petrified? If this is the case, a stone wall would be like the best defensive creature, and they would never make a creature like th...wait what?

Oops. James Flavor Fail Bonus Fail!!!

Play the horns, bros.

2. Vampire Nighthawk

Impossible not to smile when you open a pack with the Predator. He does everything. Lifelink is so OP. Flying is so OP. Deathtouch is so OP. Moon in the art is so OP. At first, when I saw this card was reprinted I was upset, because this card just wins games by itself...but then I realized this card wins games by itself, and I was happy again.

James' Flavor Fail Bonus!!!

How does he fly? Just being in a high place doesn't mean you can fly. If that was the case, a few cards would like to have a word with this card...Mountain Goat is pissed. Cliff Threader? Not amused. Summit Apes about to throw shit.

1. Murder

This is one of those cards that, right when I saw it in the first spoiler, I knew it was cool. I started playing it and I thought, wow, cool. Now that M13 is about done, I still think, wow, cool. For 1BB, kill any creature, the name Murder, that's just beauty. Beauty in a Magic card...don't mention it on your next date though, by the way.

James' Flavor Fail Bonus!!!

Why did the person that killed him leave the sword? Kill the dude, take the sword. Seems pretty basic to me. I learned that in Lord of the Rings. On that note, let's go to Elrond for a comment:

See ya brooooos. TO RAVNICA!